Dear Friends,
I have decided to forgo the usual format and chat with you for a while.
Grieving can be lonely, and these can be very lonely times to grieve. With new social distancing our physical closeness – once a source of human solidarity – now comes with a high risk of spreading infection. Many of you may turn to the internet for support, affirmation or just plain information as to what is going on within you right now. I would caution you to be very careful of the websites, podcasts or whatever you choose to search. The time spent on that can, in itself, be very draining and confusing, so please monitor that well.
Many of the articles I have read seem to echo this thought from a Market Week article that I came across.
“The coronavirus makes grieving, which is already a lonely process, even lonelier because we don’t have access to the type of physical contact and support upon which we rely to get through times of loss. When someone is acutely grieving and really in the throes of it, they may be too overwhelmed to be able to articulate what they need. They might not even know what they need in the immediate aftermath of a loss. Not having access to people stepping in and taking care of one another is devastating. It adds several extra layers to the stress that already accompanies loss.”
Another article from What’s Your Grief presented 8 reasons your grief feels worse right now. One of the reasons as stated in the article follows.
“You’re annoyed everyone is complaining about stuff your grief has had you coping with for weeks/months/years.”
“Are your friends suddenly complaining about isolation, overwhelm, and feelings of uncertainty about the future? Does it sound a lot like what you’ve been coping with for a long time? Are these things your friends haven’t historically been sympathetic about? Hopefully this isn’t coming up for you, but we have heard loud and clear that it is coming up for some people. It isn’t that you don’t empathize with your friends. Quite the opposite, in fact. You empathize deeply. It might just feel a little annoying that it took something like this for them to empathize with you.”
I must admit that searching for sage advice has given me a headache. So I need to stop. I will return but not for a while. It is time to pause, feel and identify my feelings, sit with them for a while and then decide what my next step will be – for sure something that moves me away from the angst for a while. As Maya Angelou stated, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
We can also decide to step away from the overload of information, pause, breathe, and begin again when we are ready.
Wishing you some peace and gratitude in each day,
Judy
